There are many bags in the realm of bags, from the tiny little Ziplock bag we use to keep our bananas fresh, all the way up to the great & mighty hockey bag, which is large and intimidating yet surprisingly light and easy to use. Amongst all of these bags, the most popular & widely used is by far the backpack, with the messenger bag a semi-distant second.
Once upon a time the backpack was not so popular – instead people favored the neck sack. Nobody even thought about using a messenger bag, except for those who were obsessed with which accessory would best compliment their Prada wallet. The neck sack was considered to be a highly favorable choice that went well with all other articles of clothing, even Joe’s jeans.
Now you’re saying to yourself, “A neck sack? Well, that’s just silly, the neck is weak, the back is strong, how could a sack hung from the neck possibly be superior to the backpack?â€
In 736 B.C., in the region currently dominated by the governing body of Tetzaltanuga , which was then known as Bazoomaland, there lived a tribe of aborigines who believed that the neck was the most beautiful part of the body. Kind of like that tribe of Africans with metal rings around their necks, but completely different. They worshipped not the necks which were long and skinny, but those that were robust and wide in girth. A boast oft-used by males was, “I once dated girl with neck wider than whole waist of Old Fat Gimbo.†“No! That not possible…maybe half-waist of Old Fat Gimbo, but not WHOLE waist! â€
The Council of All Things Stylish & Comely In Appearance In Bazoomaland (TCOATSCIAIB) convened one evening. “What can we do to make necks bigger?†“Hmm…..make false necks to increase appearance of necks,†“No, not false-necks, mirror collars,†“No, not just look bigger, be bigger,†“Hmm….carry all things by hanging backpack round neck?†“Backpack round neck? I dunno…†“No – that good! Backpack round neck make neck strong, and lithe, and beautiful.†And so the backpack around the neck, or neck sack was born.
Of course, now you’re saying to yourself, “What about the messenger bag? It hangs from the neck! It would strengthen the neck too!†True, the messenger bag does hang from the neck, but it rests on the side of the hip, decreasing the amount of weight that the neck has to carry. Have you forgotten that the only real use, as stated above, for the messenger bag is to allow one to look good while using a Prada wallet?
And so they went around with neck sacks abounding. They had to modify the sack by removing the backpack shoulder straps, and of course using only one strap with a collar which would attach to the neck. Soon all the necks in Bazoomaland grew to be large & glorious. Nobody mourned the loss of the backpack. And many were heard to say, “My girl had neck bigger than thrice whole waist of Old Fat Gimbo,†and instead of yells of doubt and distrust, everybody believed them.
Christian Farmer is a content writer for 10xMarketing.
